My Ambassador Hiatus

As the end of the year approaches in a given year, we reflect and look ahead to the possibilities in the year ahead. This year, most of us are anxious to get the dumpster fire that is 2020 in our rearview mirror. For me, my running blog has turn into a health lamentation diary. I am conflicted by writing as therapy versus driving away my online friends with too much reality (buzz kill.)  I called my dad today and I'm similarly conflicted as he's aged and doesn't quite understand what's happening with me. He usually wanders to "are you feeling any better" and "what are the doctors saying." I sometimes sugar coat, and other times I'm blunt; "I'm feeling worse," and "they have no answers" are more realistic replies.

As a (on hiatus) run blogger, this would be the time of the year I would be focused on goals for the upcoming year, races that are "circle the calendar" events I'm looking forward to,  and applying for running ambassadorships (or sponsorships.) Earlier in my (I wish it was) my run career, I'd apply for and take almost anything. As my brand grew in revile (sorry Mike Rossi) or revere and life became busier, I became a bit more selective.

At times I've felt like I let down the brands that I chose to represent this year. Far bigger guilt that I can't run for Liam. Ironic that I Liam through I Run for Michael and now Liam logs miles (with his parents) for me. Perhaps too many hours on a hard wooden pew in a Baptist church as a kid riddles me with guilt for things out of my control.

Like representing my brands...

Last year, I was a repeat ambassador for Pro Compression, Nuun Hydration, and Simple Hydration. My new lust, drool, envy brand was Rabbit run apparel; a lot to love their with their products and their California women-owned roots. Like many other runners this year, most races were cancelled. As races returned in small numbers, my new race singlet and brand new race shoes stayed in the closet as I continued to battle the long-term-effects of Covid that has ravaged my once (somewhat) finely tuned racing body.

I posted a poll to my twitter, but knew the answer myself when I asked if I should re-apply to these brands given my health is worse, not better. There is no running in my immediate future. As much as I'd like to, I'm giving up my "spot on the roster" to someone else who is posting sweaty selfies every week promoting the brands they love.

I won't be going away, but I won't be applying to any race ambassadorships this year. It does make me sad, but I still have the marathoner resolve that gets through miles 20-26.2 or takes the same passionate approach to recovering from a run injury. I'd say I will miss the people more like Brian (Pavement Runner) from Pro Compression or Brian Hock from Simple Hydration. Too many others to mention or count that have been amazing in supporting me the last eleven months.

My last race with Liam in 2019

I say eleven months as I started to get sick in January and 60+ doctor appointments later, I still am not well. My fever is building as I write as my chest has burned all day. I get out of breath with the most basic activities inside the house and haven't run since (really) March and one futile last attempt at two miles in May. 

 

 I won't lament any further and as finish here. I don't want your sympathy, but I do want your diligence to protect yourself and those around you. Especially during the rest of this holiday season--don't be reckless, follow CDC guidelines and avoid holiday gatherings beyond your immediate household. Trust me on this...you want no part of this. 

I'll continue to write as the spirit moves me and quip on twitter and Insta and live vicariously through you all. Peace out.